Should we celebrate birthdays or not? Is it better to ignore them?
Should we celebrate birthdays or not? Is it better to ignore them?
By Rav Binyamin Wattenberg
This post was originally an answer posted on july 25 2016 on the French website techouvot.com (https://www.techouvot.com/feter_les_anniversaires-vp46393.html).
The author agreed to have it translated into English but did not review the translation.
The author, Rav Binyamin Wattenberg teaches Talmud in Neuilly sur Seine, France, among other talmudic activities (techouvot.com…)
This subject is widely debated in our sefarim. Some are convinced that it is entirely a “non-Jewish” custom which is important not to follow, but I think that it is rather because of ignorance of what has been written on the subject.
I will try to summarize the different rabbinical positions with their reason, and as we will see we can find anything and everything.
GOOD MAZAL
The Yerushalmi Rosh Hashana (III, 8) relates that Amalek placed soldiers on their birthday at the battle front because they would have a good “mazal” and Moshe had to “mix mazalot”. Korban Haeda explains that by raising his hands, Moshe “mixed / disturbed” the Mazalot to counter the good mazal of Amalek’s warriors.
This idea is also found in the Chida who writes (Chomat Anakh, Iyov 3) on behalf of the Kabbalists that the birthday is a day of good mazal.[1]
That would explain the wish of the day: Mazal Tov!
There is also Rabbi Tsadok Hacohen Rabinovicz of Lublin in his Resisei Layla (Divrei Chalomot 20) who writes that a man has nothing to fear on his birthday and while the Gmara Kiddushin (38a) says that Tzadikim die on their birthday (and therefore have something to fear about), it is because for them, death is an accession to a higher level (and is therefore a positive occasion).[2]
There is a more plausible explanation of the Maguen Avraham in his Zayis Raanan on Yalkut Shimoni (‘Habakkuk 3) who answers that it is a blessing for the tzaddik to die on his birthday because “the Holy One, Blessed be He, sits and completes the years of the righteous from day to day” (Kiddushin 38a, Sotah 13b and Rosh Hashana 11a).[3]
But some consider that this good mazal on this day concerns only non-Jews (like Amalek).[4]
This is perhaps why we find several authors who are very reluctant about the idea that a Jew could celebrate such a day.
AGAINST CELEBRATING:
For example, in his Torah Shleima (Vayeshev p.1522 note 49), Rav Menachem Kasher quotes a manuscript (Chemat Hachemda) commentary on Bereshit 40, 20, that still today, non-Jews celebrate birthdays (meaning that Jews do not).[5]
Certainly, in the Gmara (Moed Katan 28a) we are told that Rav Yossef celebrated his 60th birthday, but that also indicates that he did not celebrate his other birthdays – neither he nor the other Amoraim – and it is only for its 60th that he wished to celebrate because – as he says it – it excluded Karet’s punishment.
The Minchat Elazar (the Munkasz’ Rebbe) writes[6] that there is nothing to celebrate on one’s birthday since the Sages tell us (Eruvin 13b) that it would have been better for the man not to be born.[7]
It is also the position of many authors, such as : Rav Horovitz of Strasbourg (and then of Badats of Jerusalem) in his Shout Kinian Torah Bahalacha (III, §21), Arugat Habossem (II, §215),[8] Abelsohn (Shut Knesset Avraham Yoel, §6 p.116 – linked with Shut Etz Chaim),[9] R. Tsadok Hacohen (Likutei Maamarim §13, p.140), the Klausenburg-Sanz Rebbe (Michtevei Torah II, 82 p.55), Rav Shlomo Zalman Bloch (Hatzadik R. Shlomo, p.29, ot 18), Patsovsky rav (Pardes Yosef Vayeshev Milouim p.48 and in the new edition, Bereshit II, p.777), Rav Dunner (Leket Sheelot Hametzuyot IV, p.13 and Kol Hatorah 65, p.164), Rav Stern (Beer Moshe) and Rav Wozner (Shevet Halevy) both quoted by Rav Harfenes in Beit Vaad LaChachamim (adar 2009, p.356), Shut Lehorot Natan (IX, §5, 9),[10] Gdulat Yehoshua (Chelek 2, Hakdama), Rav Shmuel Mohliver (Midei Chodesh BeChodsho, II, Jerusalem 1957, p.192 and Shana Beshana 1976, p.237).
In Hapeles (shana III, 1903, p.633) it cites the Beer Yitzchak of rav Itzchak Ber Levinzohn (p.34) stating that birthdays were non-Jewish holidays close to Avoda zara, although this Rav himself was close to Haskala![11]
The Kinian Torah Bahalacha (III, §21) is also opposed to celebrating birthdays, and quotes in support the Vizhnits’ Rebbe, Ahavat Israel, who refused to make a seuda for his 70th birthday and recited a lot of Tehilim and Bakachot instead.[12]
Rav Israel of Rouzhin also vigorously refused the surprise birthday organized by his wife and dismissed all the guests.[13]
The Otsar Kol Minhaguei Yeshurun (4th ed., §XXVII, 4, p.60 and 3rd ed., St Louis 1917-8, Hashmatot §14, p.304) considers that celebrating one’s birthday is a non-Jewish custom and the only character in the Choumash that one finds celebrating his birthday is Paro.[14]
It seems that it is also the opinion of the Aderet in his Nefesh David (p.129) who did not appreciate when we wished him a happy birthday, saying that it was never a holiday among the Jews and that the only one that one finds celebrating his birthday in the Chumash is Pharaoh, while the Gmara Erouvin (13b) tells us that it would have been better not to be born … He even states that he tries to forget that it is his birthday because it causes him great sadness[15] (because “it is better not to be born …”).[16]
He emphasizes, however, that the Tzadikim have something to celebrate their birth, according to the opinion of Tosfot (Avoda Zara 5a).
He nevertheless rejoiced on the day of his 60 years for the same reasons as Rav Yosef in Moed Katan (28a), as he wrote in a letter (Eder Hayakar II, Igrot, p.93, §14 ).
Not that you have to be ashkenaz to oppose birthdays. The Rav Chalfon Moshe HaC ohen in his Yad Moshe (Vayeshev, §63 daf 70b) writes that the custom of celebrating birthdays is very present in Europe, but we (the Jews) mark this date with fasting and repentance, preferring in this the useful to the pleasant.
There is in any case a very clear tendency to connect the birthday party to Pharaoh and that would therefore be considered as a “non-Jewish” rejoicing.[17]
IN FAVOR OF CELBRATING BIRTHDAYS :
However, one could just as easily see things differently.
For the Sadigura Rebbe,[18] if the Torah tells us that there was a celebration in honor of Pharaoh’s birthday, it is not in vain, it is here for us to learn that we must celebrate birthdays. And even though Pharaoh is not a good person, the fact that the Torah mentions it indicates it has to be a followed practice. He brings as a support we learn the principle of not mixing two feasts (ein mearvin simcha bessimcha) from the Torah relating the habit of the non-Jews and particulary Lavan (see Bereshit XXIX, 27 and see Yeroushalmi Moed Katan I, 7) ; and Lavan is also the source for the idea of the seven days of wedding’s festivities.
Therefore, it should not be considered as a non-Jewish minhag, and there is no problem of Chukot hagoyim in celebrating birthdays (see also Shut Beth David, §176).
Rabbi Meir Mazouz also writes (annotations on Ben Ish Chai shana 1, Ree §7, p.580) that he has heard that some people are against celebrating birthdays but since he remembers reading that the Baal Shem Tov was celebrating his – on Elul 18th – and deduces that there is no problem.[19]
His brother-in-law, Rav Yitzchak Berdah, is even clearer in his Shut Yitzak Yeranen (V, §54) and validates the birthdays minhag by writing that those who do so have whom to rely upon.
Rav Nissim Karelitz (Chut Hashani, §195, 1, 6 p.215), unlike Rav Zeldner cited above, does not seem to consider it problematic to offer a birthday present.[20]
Ben Ish Chai (I, Ree, §17) writes that it is a good custom to celebrate birthdays every year and note that some are celebrating the anniversary of their circumcision, indicating that in his family, they usually follow the first minhag (= celebrate the day of birth).[21]
R. Avraham Pallagi in his Veavraham Zaken (Yod, §19) mentions also the minhag of celebrating birthdays. Yabia Omer (VI, WH, §29) also finds this positive.
The custom of a birthday seuda, has also been endorsed by multiple and different authors such as’ Havot Yair (§70), Shout Beth Israel (Landau) (§32), Beer Moshe (Yeroushalaimsky) (Maamar Zikhron Tov, daf 138a, §5).
The Tiferet Israel, in his will prompts his children to mutually wish each other good wishes on the days of their respective birthdays (Hamaayan -Tamuz 1971- ot 6).
It is also a habit taken seriously by Loubavitsh Chassidim. The chabad literature is full of advice and remarks on to conduct oneself on one’s birthday and even tracks sources for it in Kabbalah (Shaarei Halakha UMinhag II, §302).
We also find many Tzadikim who have celebrated their birthdays themselves.
Rabbi Avraham Pallagi already mentioned, celebrated his birthday every year from the age of 70 – according to the testimony of his son Rabbi Avraham Pallagi (Tsavaa Mechaim §40 and see also Guinzei Chaim, yud §16). And this is also the case of Rabbi David Chazan quoted in Yishrei Lev (daf 2b).[22]
We also find the Midrash Sechel Tov (XL, 20 ; p.247) stating that “the majority of “people” enjoy (mechavevim) their birthday, rejoice and make a feast”. (But it’s not clear if he speaks only of gentiles or also of jews.)
The Ktav Sofer probably did not celebrate each of his birthdays with great fanfare, but celebrated his 50th one publicly (see Shut Ktav Sofer Y “D, §148).[23]
We also know – as mentioned above – that Rav Yosef celebrated his 60th birthday (Moed Katan 28a).
And this habit was followed by several rabanim, such as the Trumat Hadeshen, quoted by his pupil (Leket Yosher II, Y “D, p.40), or the Tshortkov Rebbe and the Rudzimin’s Rabbi both cited by R.A Nayerman in his Toafot Reem (volume 1, Warsaw 1936, p.30, §23).
We also find the idea of especially thanking G-d on one’s 60th birthday, as Pele Yoets in his Chesed Laalafim (§221-230, sk.8, p.372) who advocates reciting Shehechiyanu without shem UMalchut or else to prepare a fruit or a new garment for that. This is also the Ben Ish Chai’s opinion (I, Ree, §9) for the 60th and 70th birthday.
For the 70th birthday, we find in Shut Chavot Yair (§70) that it is necessary to recite Shehechiyanu (without restriction). But this opinion is not followed and the Chida (Birkei Yosef-Shiyurei Bracha §223, sk.2) will impose the same restrictions as for 60th birthday, i.e without pronouncing the name of G-d or wearing a new garment (or eating a new fruit).
See as well the Pri Megadim (Mish Zahav §444, sk.9), Shut Tzitz Eliezer (XVIII, §33), Shut Tshuva Meahava (II, §239), Samach Nefesh (erekh Shehechyanu), Rabbi Avraham Pallagi (Tsavaa Mechaim, §40), Hagahot Chatam Sofer (O.C §225), Shut R. Yedidia Tia Weill (Y “D §106 p.224 of the recent edition), Kaf Hachaim (§223, sk.28), Shut Beth Israel (Landau) (§32), Shut Beth David (§176), Chesed Laalafim (§221-23, sk.8), Divrei Israel (II, p.175) and Afarkasta Deania (I, §123), who all oppose reciting shehchiyanu “only because of the 70th birthday”, since this blessing should only be recited for the situations indicated by Chazal, as Shut Olat Shmuel (Kauder) writes (I, §22 ).[24]
However, it will still be necessary to mark the hit. The Chafetz Chaim, for his 70th birthday, invited rav Elchanan Wasserman and rav Yossef Shlomo Kahaneman for a little cake and drink and recited Shehechiyanu! (Mishnat Yaakov II, §225).
But according to other sources (Hechafetz Chaim, chayav UPealo, p.312), he did it (on his 70th birthday) on a new garment.[25]
The Chafetz Chaim also celebrated his 90th birthday and finished his Beth Israel that day (see Hechafetz Chaim, chayav UPealo, p.25).
I was myself invited to the 80th birthday (the last one) of my teacher Rabbi Chaim Yaakov Rottenberg (see Shut Beth Israel -Landau- §32), he did not recite shehechiyanu, but there was cake anyway.
Rav Fishman-Maïmon also celebrated his 80th birthday, and Rav Reuven Margulies participated to the “party” (Machanayim LXXII of Elul 5722 -1962, page 41).
Rav Nathan Adler, from London, traveled to Hanover, Germany for his mother’s 80th birthday (Letter from Rav Shlomo Eiger, printed in Igrot Sofrim, 1, p.83).
It seems that Rav Sonnenfeld also “celebrated” his 80th birthday and Rav Mendel Alter (son of the Sfas Emes) presented him his wishes despite some hesitation about the dubious origin of the birthday minhag (see his letter printed in Kerem Shlomo – Bobov – vol.205, p.47).
But for the 60 years, it is likely that there was nothing dubious, since his older brother, since the Imrei Emes, organized his (the Imrei Emes) 60th birthday party and during the meal he explained the reason for rejoicing, i.e Moed Katan 28a (Shut Maharaav – R. Avraham Binyamin Zilberberg – NY 1941, Volume 2, §61).
Returning to the 70th birthday, Rav Schneebalg (Shut Shraga Haméir IV, §69) was in favor of celebrating it.
Sdei Chemed also celebrated his (Hameassef X, Tevet 5665, IV, p.43 and p.46), and it is also the case of the Vizhnitz rebbe who celebrated it joyfully with his pupils (Israel Saba Kadisha, II, p. 177). This is also what Rav Michael Goldberger did.[26]
In 1860, for Shir’s 70th birthday (Rav Shlomo Yehuda Rapoport), his students had prepared a feast and honors for him, but he refused the honors, humbly explaining that he was born in the year Takan / TIKEN (1790) but he has not been Metaken – Ma Tikanti? (Toldot Shir of Bernfeld, p.126).
See also Voice of Truth (p.282-3) or in Hebrew Kol Chotsev (p.263-4) about the 70th birthday of Rav Schwadron.[27]
We ca find another rationale for the celebration of the 70th birthday. In the Mekor Chesed (Rav Reouven Margulies) on Sefer Chasidim (§213, note 1 ), it brings that the Yerushalmi (Yevamot VIII, 3) states that a plague occurs (at least) once every 60 or 70 years. Therefore, whoever reaches his 70 years has certainly escaped the plague that has declared “in his day”, and that’s a good reason to make a “seudat Hodaa”!
Finally, we even find in the Orchot Chaim (Bukhner) (Krakow edition 1654, §16) that the 60th and 70th birthday’s meals are of the nature of a Seudat Mitzvah.
We realize therefore that many (to the exception of those mentioned in the previous part) view positively the birthday party, and especially those of the 60th and 70th one. But we still have to define what should be done to celebrate a birthday properly.
HOW TO CELEBRATE?
On one’s birthday, it is proper to :
– as we have seen bless Shehechyanu on a fruit or a new garment (Shut Guinzei Yossef §4, 2 quoting his father-in-law, Rav Deutsch, author of Shut Pri Hassadé);
– give a lot of tzedakah (R. Chaim Pallagi in Tzedaka Lechaim – maarechet ayin §555)
– make it a “day of prayer” (Melitsei Esh p.54)
– dedicate this day or at least most of it for divine service (Torat Shalom-Schneersohn-p.398 ; Kerem Habad II, p.102 ; see also Hapardes, year 62 volume 9, p.2 on the name of the Lubavitsh Rebbe)
– learn a lot (Shut Hillel Omer, O “H §139).[28]
One should also be careful to reserve a moment for introspection and Cheshbon Hanefesh over the past year, as the Chut Hameshoulash (Munkasz edition 1893, volume 1, daf 59b-60a footnote) brings about the Ktav Sofer who had locked up hiself on his birthday (54th one) and someone who mistakenly entered the room found him sitting on the floor crying, and asked him what was happening to which he replied that he was crying over the loss of time over the past years (see also the preface to Ktav Sofer Al Hatorah, p.29)
In Shut Hadar (§18), the author states that his master – the Rav of Stretin – wanted to have an aliyah to the Torah on his birthday (which is not feasible every year …). In the same vein, the Divrei Yechezkel Shraga (parshat Vayakel) and the Tehilat Caim (p.409) bring down that the Divrei Yechezkel of Shinova wanted to be shaliach tzibur on his birthday (which is practicable more often). And this is also what R. Shaul Broch did (Shaul Behir Hashem, Ashkavta derabbi, p.275)
See also Torat Shalom (p. 406) who – for his birthday – advocates having an aliyah to the Torah, giving tzedakah, adding moments of prayer, tehilim, study and introspection, bless shehechiyanu on a fruit or a garnment (etc).
I have also read in the name Spinka Rebbe quoted in the Shut Chakal Yitzchak (I, 3) that it is appropriate on one’s birthday, to take upon oneself the commitment on something one knows he has to work on.[29]
There is also a notion of making a Siyum on a birthday.
Several rabanim wanted to make a siyum on their birthday, the Terumat Hadeshen did one on his 60th birthday (Leket Yosher II, Y “D, p.40).
See also Leket Hakemach (131) that it is appropriate to mix this rejoicing with a siyum massechet.
Thus, the Chatam Sofer planned that the end of the cycle of chumash study with his pupils falls on his birthday – the 7th Tishri (Minhaguei CS, VII, §14, p.31).[30]
His son Ktav Sofer also completed a massechet each year on his birthday (Chout Hameshoulash ed Munkasz 1893, Volume 1, daf 59b footnote).
Another fact deserves to be emphasized:
In the Sheerit Natan (p.392 ; quoted in Or Israel 46, p.249) we find a very particular siyum minhag that was taking place at Yeshivat Chachmei Lublin, every 7th Adar, birthday of the Rosh yeshiva Rabbi Meir Shapira (initiator of the study of Daf Yomi). Talmud treatises were “dispatched”, and each student took a massechet or half of it, in order that they altogether fnished Shas in one night, so that on the next day, the 7th of Adar, they were all together making a great Siyum Hashas with the Rav.
All this being said, personally, I will be tempted to give an argument in favor of those who celebrate their birthdays, but I have not seen any Acharon underlining this aspect (except Torat Shalom -Schneersohn (p.399-400 ) I found recently):
The halacha is to celebrate annually a miracle that would have happened to us (see Mishna Berura end of §218), for example the one who survives a fatal accident must celebrate this event every year.
If it is so, given the great danger of a baby birth, one could consider that it is necessary to celebrate the miracle of his birth each year.
True, nowadays, in civilized countries, the risk of miscarriage is pretty much reduced and infant mortality has also fallen down, B “H, but if the minhag has been implanted since a time when it was not the case, we may continue this custom because the danger is still not totally absent.
Only that according to this, it should also be that each mom celebrates the birthday of each of her children, because she also escaped death that day.
And, according to this rationale, we should celebrate the Hebrew date rather than the civil one.[31]
Anyway, even if no halakhic argument would push to celebrate the birthdays (and it is probable because we proved Moed Katan 28a that the Amoraim did not celebrate any birthday, only Rav Yosef distinguished itself by celebrating 60 years old – and only that one …), there is another reason, especially for children: nowadays this custom is widespread and children are sometimes misled and are tempted to move away from family. It is beneficial to show each child in the family that he is important and at least one day a year, we celebrate together. He becomes the hero of a day.
See also, a bit in this way, Kitvei Reb Eizik (Schwei) (p.273) and Torat Shalom (p.405).
At the time of the Talmud, it was not necessary, but today it can be according to the situations, the families and the place.
It would be inappropriate to say that since the Amoraim did not celebrate them, we must refrain from doing so.
To refrain from them at their time meant nothing particular, because no one was celebrating them (among the Jews at least). Today it would have another meaning for the child …
It cannot be said that he fails to celebrate, but that those who are accustomed to it should not lose it under a “religious” pretext, they must perhaps channel its spirit and enhance it by making it look, more “kadosh”, by giving more meaning to it.
See also Shut Mayim Hahalacha (Metzger) (IV, §46) who writes that it is necessary to know how to give a kedusha spirit to birthdays and not to celebrate them in frivolity.
More generally, Rav Shach used to say (see Machshevet Zkenim p.342 and also p.141 and 332) that each birthday brings us closer to death, so why rejoice? That is why only the “ben aliya”, the one who progresses from year to year in the Torah, must rejoice, because each passing year carries a new advance in Avodat Hashem, so it is closer to Chayei Netsach, the reverse of death, for the tzaddikim are called alive even after their death (Brakhot 18a).
Once a rav had suggested to the great and famous Rav Yechezkel Lewinstein – when he was mashgiach of Ponovez – to suppress the minhag of the “Santukha” (small celebration among friends of the Yeshiva when one of them is engaged) for it is systematically engaged in flattery to highlight the qualities of the chatan and the speaker, in a laudatory spirit, sometimes praises too much, which necessarily leads to a uncontrollable feeling of pride so repudiated by Baalei Moussar.
Rav Lewinstein exclaimed: “Once in the life of a man it happens that his friends give him compliments and even that you want to suppress?! “
IN CONCLUSION: It is perfectly legitimate to wish and celebrate birthdays, but you must know how to do it.
Those who are not used to accompany a family snack with Cheshbon Hanefesh are not required to adopt this minhag. But those who already celebrate this day with a small party should not abandon this beautiful habit because of some rabbis who grumble against birthdays; as we have seen, the rabbis who attached importance to these moments of rejoicing are very numerous and to the extent that one does not feast bestially but for a constructive purpose, with a feeling of Hodaa, Tshuva and introspection, it’s a very good Minhag.
[1] See also Ben Yehoyada Brachot 28a, that if a miracle happens on one’s birthday, it does not diminish his merits…
[2] It seems that some Tzadikim were not so happy to leave this world. The story that is told about the Gaon or the ‘Hazon Ish (or others, depending on the version), who would have cried before dying while saying regret a world where we can buy mitzvot for some pennies like Tzitzis, shows us that feelings are mixed ….
[3] Which means that by dying on that day, it indicates that they could have died before but have benefited from an extension, so it is “positive”.
[4] Taam Vodaas Bereichit XL, 20, however, see Nefesh Chaya (Orach Chaim §580).
[5] From Rav Aharon Zeldner’s Mate Aharon (p.68) it is deduced that giving a gift to a friend on his birthday is a non-Jewish custom not to follow.
[6] Minchat Elazar in his Divrei Torah (V, §88).
[7] This argument seems strange. In fact, we find in the prayers, all kind of different expressions of gratitude to G-d for the life He gives us (the Gomel, for example), which seems to indicate that life has its interest …
Moreover, Ramban (Shemot XIII, 16) writes that we must thank G-d for creating us.
We must therefore temper the teaching quoted (Erouvin 13b), since it is impossible to interpret it as if God had made a mistake by creating us!
It is only from men’s viewpoint that he would have been “noach“, pleasant/easier, to not have been created. Easier, certainly, but not “preferable” since G-d knows what He does.
[8] But his son (Shut Migdalot Merkachim, O.C, §31) greatly relativizes his father’s opposition by explaining the very particular context of this responsum and the specific case of the person who was concerned. Shut Vayaan Yossef (§73) also diminish the opposition of Arugat Habossem stating he was only opposed to big feasts, but not to small family party at home (see also in the same way Kvod Chachamim (Jerusalem 1982 – p.208, rav Meir Eisenstein’s maamar).
[9] See also in his Knesset Chachmei Israel, kountras 3, §66, 4 daf 65b and Kountras 6, §115, 1 daf 125a.
[10] Though he tolerates a birthday meal if it is exclusively reserved for scholars, as Rav Yossef did in Moed Katan 28a – see Lehorot Natan IX, § 5, 11.
[11] Rav H.D Halévy (Asse Lecha Rav IV, §26) has not read it, but writes that it is obvious that there is no issur Avoda Zara nor Chukot Hagoyim, because the Avoda Zara part was only the sacrifices they brought to their gods, but to celebrate a birthday is in itself a healthy idea.
[12] He quotes also his grandfather Rav Pinchas Chaim Horovitz, the Pitcha Zuta, whom he was surprised to see on his birthday – on the 18th Tamouz 1938 – crying while reading Tehilim. He explained to his grandson (the Ahavat Israel) that he was crying over the suffering he had cause to his mother when he was born 80 years earlier … However, see how Rav Eisenstein (Zichron Shlomo, p.214 and following) rejects every argument of Rav Horovitz.
[13] Shout Knesset Avraham Yoel – Abelsohn – §6 p.116 and Knesset Chachmei Israel §115, 1 daf 125a.
[14] He also states that when the pupils of Rav Yitzchak Elhanan Spektor of Kovno in 1889 wanted to celebrate the anniversary of his 50th year in the rabbinate, he was firmly opposed it – but this was not really a birthday [Actually, it was for his 25th years (not the 50th) in Kovno, as we see in Hatzfira (No. 68) and later on in Shana Beshana (1976, p.237), even if it was already his 52th in the rabbinate in different cities].
The opposition of the Rav was also published in Hatzfira (No. 77 – 11 Nissan 1889) and for more on this subject see Toldot Yitzchak p.114 of Rav Yaakov Lifshitz, Darkenu (shana II , guilion 3, p.16) and Pardes Yosef (Vayeshev Miluim p.48) who quotes several opponents of birthdays, including “the Toldot Yitzchak of an Italian rav with the Kotna rav’s haskama” [There is indeed a Toldot Yitzchak of the rav Yitzchak Luzzato but it is a book of poems and songs which does not contains neither an approval of the Kotna’s rav, nor opposition to birthdays party. In fact, the Pardes Yossef mixed up when copying the references on this subject from the Darkenu (op cit) which quotes Toldot Yitzchak and then Kochav MiYaakov of an Italian rav with approval of Kotna’s rav (in the Kochav MiYaakov it’s p.54)].
As an aside, many other rabanim did not mind celebrating the anniversary years of their rabbinate or action for Torah, often by the publication of a sefer Hayovel, as for R. Shimon Schkop for his 50 years of teaching (see what Moshe Avigdor Amiel writs in this collection, in 1943 there will also be a sefer Hayovel for him), Rabbi Meir Shapira from Lublin (in 1930) for his 20 years in the service of the Torah, Rav Fishman-Maïmon for his 50 years (in 1926), sefer Hayovel for Rav Rabinovicz’s 70th birthday (NY 1930), another for 70 years of rav Azriel Hildesheimer (Shay Lemora), and for his rav, rav Yitzchak Bernays, for whom his 25 years of rabbinate in Hamburg were celebrated with great fanfare in 1846 (Shana Beshana 5736 p.238).
[15] Rabbi David Pardo, author of many sfarim including Lamnatzeach LeDavid and Chasdei David, writes at the end of his commentary Shoshanim LeDavid that he finished it on his 34th birthday, 1st Nissan 1752, and it does not seem to sadden him at all …
[16] But he himself writes in his Har Hamoria (Ahavat Shalom ed., P.59) that he requoted the Bracha of Shehechiyanu for his birthday with great joy! [However, in this instance, he was sick, with 41 ° C fever (!) and thought he would pass away. So, when he had the strength to pray Shavuos Maariv BeTzibur, he rejoiced (and thus the Shehechiyanu blessing). Especially since having been born in Shavuot, he perhaps said it for the Yom Tov, although he wrote that he requoted it for his birthday).
[17] We also find some who were opposed to the celebration of a death day (yohrtseit) of a tzaddik! In 1890, some wanted to celebrate the 50 years of the death of Chatam Sofer, but his students, Rav Naftali Sofer (see the beginning of Kountras Beth Efraim printed at the end of Et Sofer Volume 2) and Rav Yehuda Modern (strange name for a disciple of Chatam Sofer, symbol of the opposition to modernism deviating from the massoret) for whom it was a non-Jewish custom directly inspired by Maskilim who had recently (in 1886) celebrated the 100 years of the death of their master Mendelssohn, opposed it. “Yohrtzeit” yes, but “specifically for the 50th years”, no ! (Leket Shoshana (1942, §19) and Beth Vaad Lachachamim (Nissan 5771, p.463)). It is the idea that there would be a particular reason to celebrate only the symbolic years because “round”, which displeased these Rabanim.
Personally, I do not see why this notion should be classified as heretical / non-Jewish, if not – and it is this their real motive – in my opinion – because of the likeness with the Maskilim whose aspirations were rarely holy. The Rabanim at that time were doing everything to remove their flock from the Maskilim in order to stop the spread of the Haskala “virus”, it is a kind of prophylactic disposition. It would have been purely conjunctural, so, nowadays “the prohibition” would no longer be appropriate, but disbanded. And it is probably what could explain why for the 100th years of the death of Chatam Sofer (in 1940), they published a Sefer Hazikaron with a great ceremony in Pressburg, presided over by R. Akiva Sofer himself.
[18] Quoted in Messilot-Kislev 5747 ; see also Abir Yaakov – of the Sadigura Rebbe- p.161
[19] He does not remember where he has read this about the Baal Shem Tov, but I suppose it’s in Chabad literature, for example in Sefer Hasichot (1943, p.154, 187), Kountras Chay Elul, and Kerem Chabad (II, p.100).
[20] See also Rav Halevy in Assé Lecha Rav (IV, §26) for whom there is also no problem.
[21] Shut Beer Eliyahu (Katz) (II, Y “D §32) writes that, in his opinion, the advantage of the day of circumcision can only concern the first twelve birthdays, but from the Bar Mitzvah and on, it is more logical to celebrate the day he took upon himself to commit to the mitzvos, which is birth.
[22] See the Knesset ChaChmei Israel – kountras 3 – §115, 1 for which only birthdays of 60 and 70 deserve attention, but not the following ones.
[23] see Afarkasta Deania (I, §123) who is surprised about it because it seems to be against his father’s position. In fact, the Chatam Sofer states (Torat Moshe, Vayera, Bereshit XXI, 8) that Avraham used to celebrate every year on his son Yitzchak’s circumcision day – not his birthday.
[24] This rationale is rejected by the Tshuva Meahava for whom the Chavot Yair is not absurd (when advocating the shehechiyanu blessing in other occasion than those of takanat chazal) because, as the Bach (où, O.C 225 ?) writes, it is a bracha that has been instituted on man’s joy (and not only on the precise situations listed by chazal.
The Komarno Rebbe (Chulchan Hatahor §223, 7) sides with the Chavot Yair and indicates – at odds with all the poskim listed- to recite the bracha (he often has marginal positions in this book).
See also Rav Shlomo Tzvi Shik (Shout Rashban I, §61). According to whom, Chavot Yaïr does not hold one should recite shehechiyanu (!), but he personally thinks we should.
[25] Hard to know who to trust when the two are also contradicted by Rav Shlomo Zalman Bloch who, when he heard that the Chafetz Chaim would have given a small snack for his 70th birthday, exclaimed : “Sheker Gomur! Dos iz nit kein arbeit far Chofetz Chaim, s’iz nit a yiddishe weg!” (Hatzadik R. Shlomo, p.29, ot 18). In other words, according to him, it is absolutely impossible for the Chafetz Chaim to do so, because it is not “Jewish” to celebrate his birthday … (see Or Israel 24, p.193 note 103).
[26] see Shut Rashban I, §61 where Rav Shik wrote to him that he learned from his son (the son of rav Goldberger) that his father (rav Michael Goldberger) was about to celebrate his 70th birthday and according to him (rav Shik) it would be appropriate to recite Shehechyanu, and that he himself, if he was able to attend, would have recited it (because of Haroe et chavero achar 30 yom) as well as shechalak MeChoChmato liyereav (which is recited at the sight of a great sage in Torah).
[27] To celebrate the 70th years of a Tzadik is noble and desirable according to the Chesed LeAvraham (Brudno) (volume 2, pticha, p.6 §4)
We also find the idea of rejoicing on the birthday -at least a tzadik’s one- in the Midrash Tanchuma (Pekoudei XI) which states that G-d wished to mix the joy of the Mishkan with the joy of the birthday of Yitzchak (the 1st Nissan).
See also Tosfot and Rosh (Nazir 14a) explaining there is a doubt arising when someone says “I will be as Moshe the 7th adar” (is he Nazir or not?) because this person might allude to Moshe’s death a sad day when mourners engage in a Nezirut, or he alludes Moshe’s birthday a day of celebration and joy …
Still on the subject of celebrating important people birthdays, it seems (from see Oshea (VII, 5) “yom malkenou” and Metzudas David, ad loc) that contrary to what Rav Fraenkel writes in his Labar-mitzvah Encyclopedia (p.217), Jews did celebrate their kings’ birthdays, who explains that this is the birthday of the king and there was a feast. However, Malbim (ad loc) explains otherwise.
[28] In yeshivos, the custom is to “have a mishmar”, i.e to study all the night of the 20 years anniversary.
[29] If we do not find one (we are a great tzaddik or we do not understand the concept), we can always work on acquiring a ” Jewish spirit “. In fact, it is sometimes thought that doing all the mitzvot makes us a good Jew, but the truth is that we can do lots of mitzvot, pray three times a day, put on tfilin and tzitzit, keep Shabbat, eat strictly kosher etc. … and yet … being far from a true Judaism.
The Piaseczner Rebbe, R. Kalmish Shapiro (killed by the Nazis in Trawniki camp on 4th Heshvan 1943 after being deported from the Warsaw Ghetto in April 1943 following the insurrection), had a diary in which he wrote on his 40th birthday (19 Iyar 1929) that he should take a commitment on himself, but that he does not know what to take as “kabala” this year, “to study more? it seems to me that I’m not wasting a moment in my schedule; stay away from Taavos ? Baruch Hashem I am not dependent on any material Taava ; so what do I lack ? What I lack … is being “a Jew”! I feel like a human form, with its colors and shapes etc. to which only one thing is missing: the Neshama! Master of the world! … This is what I wish for this year (from now on), I want to convert and become a Jew! “(Quoted in Mimaayanot Hanetsach p.294).
[30] However, in the Shut Afarkasta Deania (§123), he quotes the Chatam Sofer as being opposed to choosing the birthday rather than circumcision day (see on this subject Or Israel 49, p.142, note 46).
[31] But Zichron Shlomo (Jerusalem 1994, p.219) emphasizes that according to the idea that birthdays are days of good Mazal (as mentioned in the first part), as it is related to the stars (mazalot), one must follow the solar/civil calendar ! But more on this (which date someone should celebrate) in a future post.
18 thoughts on “Should we celebrate birthdays or not? Is it better to ignore them?”
Excellent summary but from a cursory glance it seems the translation was a little rough. For instance the Pardes Yosef was written by Yosef Patchanovski, not the patchanovski rav.
This topic, and in fact this article itself, is a great example of how minhagim are born and how practices change over time in Israel.
If you ask elderly European Jews about this topic you’ll find that historically the celebration of birthdays was almost completely unheard of in the Ashkenazi Jewish community. (I have no personal experience with Sephardi practice, but I imagine it’s similar.)
The only actual practice that I’m aware of is that to a very limited extent birthdays appear to have been recognized in some Ruzhin circles (e.g., Sadigur, as cited by this author) and in Chabad, but it was more about taking note of the day in a small way, and was not a celebration or birthday party like what is practiced today (Chabad has also changed in this regard).
In fact the practice of celebrating birthdays, and of finding their supposed ‘sources’ in Jewish texts, began only very recently, reflecting the evolution and growth of birthday celebrations in the US and to a lesser extent the rest of the western world, as birthday celebrations receive more prominence, especially for adults, and particularly in the past 20-40 years or so.
I briefly researched the topic a few years ago and was unable to find almost any Jewish source for celebrating birthdays, while I was able to find some (not many) for not celebrating them (similar to what the author cites here).
Reading closely the actual sources cited here ‘in support’ of celebrating birthdays one finds that virtually none offer explicit support of birthday celebrations, only very remote or dubious support at best.
For example, the Yerushalmi regarding Amalek, one of the most popularly cited sources, is not about birthday parties (let alone Jewish celebration of them), but rather a mention of a one-time Amalakite practice having little to do with birthday celebrations. (It reminds me of an expression we sometimes used in Yeshiva, “a farvurfeneh yerushalmi”, to describe a situation where someone uses a remote yerushalmi in tangential support of a proposition, rather than offering support from a mainline popular bavli gemara or from commonly cited halachic sources).
The other small number of comparatively remote sources cited by the author discussing some or other particular matter related to the date of one’s birth offer little support of birthday celebrations when read closely.
Similarly, the limited examples of great people expressing appreciation for having reached advanced age or for specific advanced age deciles, offer little support for regular birthday celebrations.
In fact, the very fact that almost no discussion of the significance of birthdays is found in traditional sources, itself lends very strong support that birthdays were not celebrated!
Now, none of the above is to say that it’s bad or ‘unjewish’ to celebrate birthdays. It’s okay, and it’s simply a reflection of how human behavior (including religious behavior) changes over time, but it’s nice to be able to recognize that, and to have knowledge of the fact that birthday celebrations are not actually a traditionally Jewish thing.
One Jewish leader very much responsible for the present emphasis on birthdays is the Lubavitcher Rebbe נ”ע, who seems to have intentionally turned it a focus of Jewish practice and provided it with Jewish meaning (see for example here: https://www.sie.org/templates/sie/article_cdo/aid/4161019/jewish/Birthdays.htm). This may very well have been part of an approach of, 1. recognizing and folding general practices into Judaism where they are in consonance and ‘koshering’ them as a means of strengthening Judaism in America, and 2. emphasizing ideas of positive individualism, again as a mirror of American psyche and way of life and a means of connecting Judaism more strongly to contemporary Americans.
One related point worth mentioning here is the interesting phenomenon that has recently become very prevalent of people on their birthdays giving others a beracha. I laugh (but not openly!) every time I hear people say “it’s a Jewish custom to give blessings on one’s birthday”, since this “custom” is all of about 15 years old, and was completely unheard of just one or two generations ago! In support of the idea people sometimes cite Rebbe Nachman Breslover (no such source exists) or the verses in Tehilim … אני היום ילדתיך, שאל ממני ואתנה…, a laughable mistranslation of the verses if one understands what they actually mean. In fact the practice has picked up so much in the past few years that to some it already feels like giving berachot on their birthday is some sort of ancient and spiritually significant Jewish practice almost like prayer, saying Tehillim, or taking challah. All of which I think can be appreciated by readers of The Seforim Blog who generally have an understanding of Jewish trends and of the big picture of Jewish history and practice.
B”H.
This long-winded comment is not accurate.
Yes it is true, that in Europe once upon a time they did not record birthdays. To quote Eugene M. Avrutin, “The Politics of Jewish Legibility: DocumentationPractices and Reform during the Reign of Nicholas I” pages 156-7:
“Before the registration of vital statistics, Jews could only approximate their age and dates of birth. One Jewish resident commented that “I am quite old, but I do not remember how old,” and another Jew wrote that “I am thirty-eight or thirty nine and I am not sure which.” In his autobiography, Mendele Moykher Sforim wrote similarly, “My birth date is nowhere recorded.
Jews didn’t pay attention to such things in those days, particularly in the small towns. But I have assumed that I was born in the year 1836,
and my family determined December 20 to be my date of birth.”
However, on the other hand, the Lubavitcher Rebbe did not kosherize anything, neither did he popularize an “American concept”. He but rather popularized an old Jewish concept.
I know you claimed that you looked into it, but I suggest you look again.
Rabbi Gavriel Tzinner has recently put out a Likut on birthdays in Judaism with hundreds of pages and thousands of sources.
I really suggest you go through that book and then come back to us.
Again it may not have been popularized, but it certainly has ample sources within Judaism and comes from Judaism, and NOT American culture as you would like to believe.
This comment is clearly mistaken, since religious Jews always kept track of their Hebrew birthdays in order to be able to know the date of their bar-mitzva, which has numerous halachos associated with it. Generally European Jews kept track of their daughters’ Hebrew birthdays too; a common practice was to write it into the front page of an important book such as a Chumash or Gemara so that it wouldn’t be lost.
Where can I find Rav Gavriel Tzinner’s likut?
B”H.
I don’t understand, you are arguing with historical facts (as documented by Eugene M. Avrutin), based on your own say so?
Here is at least one link to where one can buy Rabbi Tzinner’s Likut:
https://seforimdeals.com/store15/index.php/nitei-gavriel-yom-holedes-ntei-gbrial-ivm-hvldt.html
Let me explain my response. You stated that in Europe Jews did not record birthdays, citing a historical report recording several instances of Jews not having a record of their Christian date and year of birth prior to commencement of government recordation. The report as cited by you provides several examples of middle-aged or elderly Jews not knowing their exact Christian year of birth, and one example of a Jew not knowing their Christian birth date. The apparent implication of your citing the report, and your overall comment, is that European Jews at some point likely stopped celebrating birthdays as religiously significant events, due to the fact that they ceased keeping track of them, but that in earlier times birthdays were in fact religiously celebrated. To which I responded that religious Jews always kept track of their Hebrew dates of birth for purposes of their bar-mitzva (there may have been some exceptions for very uneducated Jews in small villages), and therefore if Jews did not celebrate their Hebrew birthdays in Europe it was not because they had stopped recording them. This obviates any proof from the report or any significance of the report to the topic, since Jews’ knowledge of their Christian dates of birth would have no effect on whether or not they could celebrate Hebrew birthdays. So I’m not arguing with the facts in the report, I’m explaining how it doesn’t prove anything about Jewish celebration of birthdays. Hope that clarifies it.
B”H.
I suggest that you actually read his article, and then we can discuss it. I hope you understand that I just cut out one paragraph to drive home a point.
In addition if one has his Hebrew date recorded, then it is no big issue to figure out what his actual secular date was.
In addition, people clearly did record dates of Marriage of death, and yet it was just happens to be that the Birthdate which was for a reason unknown.
If one wants to base himself on anecdotal evidence, I will just mention that my maternal grandfather last saw his parents at the age of 8 and till then was never told his birth date. He celebrated his Bar Mitzva in the DP Camps based on the estimated date.
Going back, I have seen many cases where people were not aware of their exact dates of Birth. However, this is all anecdotal, and therefore I specifically referred to an actual study on the matter.
Did any Jew living in a shtetl ever have a birthday celebration/party? I doubt it.
My father was born on YK in a Hungarian shtetl. His father went the next day to town hall to register his birth (at home), but they didn’t backdate it, so his legal birthdate is the day after.
His bar mitzvah aliyah was maftir Yonah, cause all the rich people who bid up the prices for aliyot left the shul by later afternoon.
Thank you for not making this article any longer than it is. (And also for having at least considered not writing it at all, even if you ultimately did not follow that path.)
Thank you for this wonderful comment Joseph
I heard from a respected talmud chacham that the chabad “minhag” of celebrating birthdays was only started in the 1920’s by the Rayatz who adapted it from Soviet Russia which had abolished all religious holidays but filled the void by celebrating birthdays. It was never celebrated by any groups of Jews in Europe ( including Chabad) as can be seen by the dearth of any real records of it in jewish historical sources. There is a famous letter from Rabbi Mordechai Gifter where he mentions this fact and I am surprised it wasn’t mentioned in the article.
I read Rabbi Zinner’s book and most of his sources are dubious to say the least and the rest are those of “gedolim” who celebrated their birthdays but never the commonfolk.
B”H.
As a Chabadnik, I find that “respected talmud chacham”s assertion, that it this Minhag is connected to communistic decrees, to be quite dubious (to say the least.
In regards to Rabbi Tzinners book, maybe you can point out how the sources are dubious?
In any case, even if were celebrated only “Gedolim” that itself shows that it is not exactly Secular in nature, and certainly not problematic.
Okay, I understand now. As a Chabad chossid you somehow feel these comments denigrate chabad minhagim. Let me clarify that the point here is not to denigrate chabad or their minhagim or manhigim (for all of which I have great respect), but simply to clarify historical background. For example, if the Rebbe intentionally increased the emphasis on birthdays as one of many ways of (ultimately successfully) strengthening Judaism, evidencing a subtle understanding of the points I noted above and the vision to implement his ideas, then this shows unusually heightened leadership sensitivity and leadership skills. It’s not a negative, it’s a strong positive.
(In general, I would counsel to avoid letting personal emotions influence interpretation of facts, or how statements or comments are read and understood, as this can get in the way of seeing things at face value and understanding them for what they are.)
B”H.
First of all, in regard to your specific point.
For the record, I personally do find it distasteful to say that the Rebbe took a Secular concept and then Kosherized it.
However, that is not what drives my point at all. I am fully aware that I am communicating in an open forum and not in some sort of echo chamber.
Therefore, when I make my comments in this forum I predicate it on rationalizations, which I believe hold water from an objective perspective.
The Rebbe himself explains in countless Sichos explains where he got his idea of Birthdays, and there is no indication that one has to assume that he did not mean it and that he really took it from the secular society, in order to use it as a certain tool.
Now in regards to the core comment at hand. I did not use my background to just shrug off his point in the fashion of a knee jerk reaction.
Rather I was trying to say, that based on my background, I have a nice amount of knowledge of Chabad history. therefore I can tell you that the theory proposed just does not hold water.
As an aside there are no records which I am aware of people making gatherings in honor of their birthday, however, we do know of people risking their lives to gather for religious gathering.
I can give a few more reasons why I found it to be utterly strange, however, let us first see any backing to this theory, and then we will discuss if that even holds water. As it stands it is all based on something someone told him.
A Freilichen Chanuka!
Someone sent me a link if this article.
It pretty much covers all bases and a Yasher Koach to the author.
As there seems to be a confusion in the article and particularly in the comments – as to the Chabad custom regarding birthdays – I would like to give a short overview for those who are interested. (Those who aren’t interested in hearing things written by a different Rebbe do not need to write cynical ir disparaging comments about Tzadikim – they are welcome to skip this comment).
General point:
In earlier generations of Chabad – very little emphasis was placed on recording stories of the Rebbes or even their Minhagim. These were more reserved to oral tradition whether amongst Chassidim or transmitted from Rebbe to Rebbe. The “written word” was dedicated largely to recording the teachings of the Rebbes in both Nigle and Chassidus.
The Previous Rebbe – especially in his later years – saw fit to reveal a wealth of information pertaining to the lives of the Rebbes of Chabad and general Chassidus – much of which had up until then been knowledge that was limited to the privileged few.
This information originated from various sources:
1) many stories were told to him privately by his father the Rebbe Rashab – as had been passed on through the generations in oral tradition from one Rebbe to the next.
2) the previous Rebbe’s grandmother – Rebbetzin Rivka was specifically told many stories by her father-in-law the Tzemach Tzedek, who in turn heard these stories either from his grandfather the Alter Rebbe, or, at the behest of his grandfather, from his great grandmother – the Alter Rebbes mother – who had seen the Baal Shem Tov on more than one occasion, and she and her husband were followers of the Ba’al Shem Tov.
3) from his teachers who were for the most – close Chassidim of the Tzemach Tzedek.
The Baal Shem Tov and later the Chabad Rebbes all celebrated their birthdays in a somewhat hidden fashion.
An exception to this was the Baal Shem Tov who celebrated his birthday – Chai Elul – with a big Seuda every year. However, aside from the Mezritcher Maggid – to whim the Besht revealed this fact, and who later told it to his student the Alter Rebbe – others weren’t aware that this day was the birthday of the Ba’al Shem Tov.
The Chabad Rebei’im all celebrated their birthdays in a very closed fashion, where usually only the son who was chosen to later become their successor – was aware of it. They would generally say – in private – a Maamar Chassidus.
Even the cekebration if Chai Elul was publicly revealed only in the time of the Rebbe Maharash – and more so by the previous Rebbe in the years after he came to America.
On the last birthday of the Rebbe Rashab in this world he celebrated with his only son – the previous Rebbe – as was his custom, by saying a Maamar Chasssidus to him in private. He. Then said; on a birthday one must say Chassidus. May Hashem help you that you should say Chassidus on your birthday, May it be in a manner of kindness and mercy (from Above). This materialized seven years later when the Orevious Rebbe was released from his prison and exile sentence on the day of his birthday.
Over the course of the generations of Chabad, the average person was not aware of the birthday celebrations of the Rebbes and certainly did not celebrate other birthdays or his own. There were exceptions – people who received specific instructions of behaviors to follow on their birthday.
In the time of the Peevious Rebbe there were more specific instructions that were given in a regular basis to people regarding special customs to follow in their birthdays. This continued with the fact that Chassidim would enter for a private audience – yechidus – on or around their birthday, and continued as such during the course of the years of the Rebbe’s leadership.
There became many set customs – getting an Aliya, increasing in Torah study, prayer, and Tzedaka, reciting the entire Tehilim, making a Cheshbon Hanefesh, publicly reciting a Chassidus discourse, saying Shehecheyanu on a new fruit etc.
In 5748 – the Rebbe instituted the birthday campaign which included all of the above, including something new: celebrating with friends and family Bh making a Chassidic Farbrengen.
The Rebbe himself explained the reason for this new practice that didn’t exist beforehand (in Chabad – amongst the average person) “because we are approaching the time of Moshiach – it is time to use out the last “birurim (refinement & elevation of G-dly sparks) from mundane matters – elevating and transforming them to holiness”.
As in all other if the Rebbe’s Mivtzoim – there are those who have nothing better to do with their lives than to mock and make leitzanus – of Jews pursuing ways to increase in holiness and positive things. The Rebbe, as always, quoted numerous sources in Torah – not to say that this has always been the custom in Chabad – but to explain that the concept is rooted in a holy source.
As with all of the Rebbe’s Mubtzoim – those who opposed and mocked – remained but a distant memory, while the Rebbe’s blessed campaign, continues to inspire tens of thousands of Jews to increase in all matters of Torah and Mitzvos.
As a postscript I can share a personal experience and I’m sure there are many many similar stories:
Twenty years ago I was on Shlichus in Venice, Italy. A Jewish tourist who was touring Europe with his non-Jewish girlfriend “happened to fall in” to my birthday Farbrengen. As a result – today he is a Chassidishe Yungerman with a (Jewish) wife and beautiful Frum family.
Happy Chanuka and May we merit the ultimate Geula with the coming of Moshiach Now!
Chabadnikim have to keep track of their birthdays cause of the “ancient” chabad custom dating back to the MaMaSh or maybe the RaYaTz of saying a perek corresponding to the age.
see link where this is recorded by first chabad rebbe, the baal hatanya and shulchan aruch harav
https://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=33086&st=&pgnum=365&hilite=